sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will be naked everywhere
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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