My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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