What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize