haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
