How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
