I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
babies were throwing up all over the place
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
