What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize