it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
