I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
