I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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