clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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