somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
