yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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