...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
