maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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