Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize