it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
