Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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