you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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