office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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