Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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