whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
