I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
