I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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