Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
