At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
