I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
