my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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