Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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