Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
