ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
