Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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