btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize