Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
