you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
