if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
