i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize