Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
