clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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