Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
