Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
