no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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