We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
