So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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