Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
