oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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