Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
