we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
