therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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