It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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