This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
