Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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