i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize