i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
