im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
