Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sober January is a disaster.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
