what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
