sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
