dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize