are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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