I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
