My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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