The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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