There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
