and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
