I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
