New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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