Got a toothbrush?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Randomize
