A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
