yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
