David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
