i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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