I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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