Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Terrible idea I love it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
