I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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