just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
