The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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