It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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