I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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