he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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