forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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