Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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