Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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