I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
